5. Why Your Kid Freaks Out Over Tags and You Hate Perfume: How Physical Sensitivity Impacts Moms & Kids

Leah and I are back this week for podcast Episode 5: Why Your Kid Freaks Out Over Tags and You Hate Perfume: How Physical Sensitivity Impacts Moms & Kids. We’re diving into something most people have never heard of: the 8 sensory systems that shape how highly sensitive kids (and their moms!) experience the world (and cause meltdowns). 

If you’re parenting a highly sensitive child while being sensitive yourself, you know how overwhelming life can feel. This episode is your roadmap to understanding physical sensitivity and how it influences behavior, emotions, and even meltdowns.

When I found out that there were 8 senses, not just the basic five, I finally understood why I am the way I am. It was incredibly freeing. 

So today, we’re breaking down all eight sensory systems that impact sensitivity:

1. Tactile (Touch): Tags, messy hands, tight hugs — too much touch can feel like pain.
2. Auditory (Sound): Vacuums, hand dryers, multiple voices — sound can be physically overwhelming.
3. Visual (Sight): Bright lights, cluttered rooms, busy patterns — visual input can trigger anxiety.
4. Olfactory (Smell): Perfume, food smells, diapers — sensitive noses pick up everything.
5. Gustatory (Taste): Picky eating isn’t just picky — it’s sensory. Bland foods feel safe.
6. Vestibular (Balance & Movement): Swings, stairs, car rides — movement can be scary or addictive.
7. Proprioception (Body Awareness): The secret weapon for calming overstimulated kids and moms. Think weighted blankets, deep pressure, pushing, pulling, climbing. It’s organizing, regulating, and almost always soothing.
8. Interoception (Internal Signals): Hunger, thirst, bathroom needs, emotional awareness — sensitive people feel it all… or not at all.

What Actually Helps - Sense by Sense

General Principle:

• Accommodate when you can, build tolerance gradually when needed
• Use calming sensory input (especially proprioceptive) to regulate
• Prevent overload rather than manage meltdowns

Tactile Solutions:

• Sensory-friendly clothing
• Let kids cut tags out themselves

Sensory-Friendly Clothing Brands

• Smartknit Kids - seamless socks specifically designed for sensitive kids
• Primary - tagless, soft basics with flat seams
• Target's Cat & Jack line - affordable tagless options with sensory considerations

Noise Management:

• Loop earplugs - discreet noise reduction for kids and adults
• Calmer earbuds by Flare Audio - reduce overwhelming frequencies
• Noise-canceling headphones - Puro Sound or Muted brands for kid

Visual Solutions:

• Dimmer switches
• Sunglasses indoors if needed

Olfactory Solutions:

• Unscented products
• Kitchen exhaust fans

Gustatory Solutions:

• No pressure eating
• Gradual exposure through food chaining

Vestibular Solutions:

• Don't force playground equipment
• Car sickness accommodation

Proprioceptive Input

• Heavy work activities (pushing, carrying, climbing)
• Weighted blankets (brands like Gravity, YnM, SensaCalm)
• Tight hugs (if welcome)
• Chewing gum or crunchy foods
• Sensory swings

Interoception Building:

• Help kids name body sensations
• Regular check-ins before crisis

🎧 Listen now and ask yourself:  Which sensory system do you and your child struggle with most?

📲 Share this episode with a fellow sensitive parent 🌐 Visit

Transcript

Adrienne: 0:00

Hello and welcome to Real Parenting for the Sensitive Mom, the podcast for moms who feel everything and still show up. I'm Adrienne Bishop, your co-host and parenting coach.

Leah: 0:07

And I'm Leah Andreoni, your co-host and family therapist. In this episode, Adrian and I are going to be exploring how physical sensitivity influences emotions and behaviors in highly sensitive children and mothers, and how understanding this trait can transform how you manage your kids' behavior and your own overwhelm.

Adrienne: 0:22

So there are two different kinds of sensitivities. Actually, there's more than two, but I'm going to talk about two today. One is the physical sensitivity versus emotional sensitivity. And Leah and I were just talking about how the physical sensitivities can actually lead to an emotional reaction. So they are very intertwined and it's difficult to separate them necessarily because they feed upon each other. If you have a physical thing bothering you, you're going to be more emotional. So we'll talk about the physical sensitivities today, and we're going to be exploring eight senses that influence it in you and your child. So it's not just the five. And also, we're looking at both kids and moms because if you can imagine being a parent of a highly sensitive child, your sensitivities are going to influence how you show up for your child, and your child's sensitivities are going to influence your reactions to them in your nervous system, in their nervous system, co-regulating. So if you understand both your physical sensitivities and your child's, you're going to have a much better chance of having more of an ease of working together, whether it be just getting out the door, whether it be during meltdowns. So we're going to talk a little bit about how physical sensitivity is going to be influencing those challenging moments for you guys. And also the secret weapon to calming your overstimulated highly sensitive child that not many people have heard of. And it's really going to make a big difference for you. I've used it with my clients, and it's very simple to implement. So we'll talk about that closer to the end of the episode.

Leah: 1:25

I'm really excited to talk about all these different senses because Adrian, like you said, we learn about the five senses. And I talked to most of my clients about the five senses and how to actually use them to calm our bodies, calm our nervous system, right? When we're talking about sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell. We want to use them, bring ourselves back to grounding. But learning that there's actually eight sensory systems can give us even a broader range of ways to calm our nervous systems, but we really need to be aware of it. And, you know, watching my kids grow up and actually by listening to them, I've learned what helps them because they're able to be aware of it and know how they feel when they're doing certain things that are actually aligned with their eight senses. So I'm really excited for this conversation to tell everybody and talk about our stories, either professional or personal.

Adrienne: 2:07

Yes. And it's so important. We always talk about self-awareness in every single podcast episode. We want to remember that that is the number one goal. Well, my number one goal as a coach is to help my clients be self-aware and understand how to help their children be self-aware because you're going to have a much easier time working together and just making sure that you're as emotionally healthy as possible. So the first sense we're going to talk about is tactile, which is touch, and it's receptors in skin detecting texture, temperature, pressure, and pain. So there's an over-responsive version and then an under-responsive tactile version. So the over-responsive version is when kids feel clothing tags like knives and they're asking you to cut them out and freaking out until you do. There's also certain fabrics that can be unbearable for kids, jeans, wool, those are mine too. Also hugs. If some kids don't like them, they actually are painful and can hurt if they get a squeezed hug. Messy hands causing panic, like having dirt or slime or something on their hands. Even light touch is irritating for kids like this. Sometimes going from dry to wet or wet to dry is in getting in the shower, getting out of the shower can be really, really frustrating and doesn't feel good to them. Another one is washing hands. And I know tons of my clients have had kids not want to wash their hands, refuse to wash their hands. And so I always check, is it a tactile sensory issue? Because almost every single time it is. It's not that they're just refusing because they don't want to do it. It's usually because they don't like getting wet or getting their clothes wet while they wash their hands.

Leah: 3:14

Yeah, Adrian, when I talk with moms and when I used to work with kids, it was really trying to decide is this a tactile sensory processing issue, or did they really just want to be obstinate or oppositional?

Adrienne: 3:24

Yes. And I think in general, just to answer that, if the kid consistently refuses to wash their hands, you're gonna probably have a tactile challenge on your hands as opposed to if it's just once in a while, most likely that's just they don't feel like doing it. And then you have a different motivating challenge, right? There's a different way of getting them to do it. Also, the mom version of having a tactile sensory challenge is when you get touched out. So that might be when you have a baby, you're nursing all the time. We talked about this in the self-care episode. Yep. Physically, you're just getting touched out, too much stimulation on your skin. Maybe difficulty with crowds brushing against you and then needing personal space. So this has been something that I've experienced a lot more as I've gotten older. Having my kids like lay on me on the couch all the time, it's just not something I feel super good about anymore. And it actually leads me to feel very irritable. And so it's something that you just want to recognize about yourself. Like there could be a shift in your need for certain things physically as you get older, as you change, and the same thing with your kids. So just think about like this being all completely not something that you're making up. It's all real. And so honoring some of these needs in yourself and your kids are really, really important. And we're gonna talk a lot more about that in a minute. But the under-responsive tactile sensory is not noticing injuries, seeking rough play, and having a high pain tolerance, also liking very strong squeezing hugs and maybe even pressure, right? So weight and pressure.

Leah: 4:27

Yeah, this is, you know, one of my kids has to have a squeeze almost every day, constantly looking for that information for his nervous system to really regulate how he's feeling with the squeezing, the hugging, whether he's squeezing or getting squeezed. He still asks for getting squeezed, just because he's, you know, wandering around, not really sure what to do. But then when he's asking for it, it's really a way to for him to get grounded.

Adrienne: 4:48

That's so interesting. So he's just lost almost or a little bit dysregulated and he's walking around and then he says, Mom, I need a little hug, I need a squeeze. And then he can sort of get to the calmer place and maybe even be focused. A little bit. Yeah. That is really cool. I love that. Yeah, my middle child is like this. She's under responsive. He doesn't necessarily seek rough play. Rough play would be kids that like to wrestle a lot or they're constantly trying to, you know, lay on top of you or squeeze you, or maybe even throwing themselves against like the couch, that kind of thing, like just getting that feedback, that physical feedback of pressure. And so my middle child is very, very much into strong hugs. He'll come over and squeeze me as hard as possible. And he has a very high pain tolerance, which you might want to think about because a lot of times he'll be very irritable or really angry. And it turns out he's actually has some sort of pain that he doesn't recognize because his pain tolerance is so high. So this is definitely something to think about. If your kid may have these symptoms or these challenges, it could be leading into problems and issues and emotional, you know, maybe reactivity and you're not even realizing that there's something underneath that's that's creating it. And you can help them to become more self-aware of the fact that they kind of don't notice when they're in pain and to scan their body if they have some sort of you know emotional reaction, either angry or irritable. Hey, buddy, like is is your are you feeling okay? Do you have any pain in your body? Usually do you have a headache? Do you have any toothache? Sometimes my, you know, my middle child will have like some sort of braces pain, right? And he will take it out on everyone, which most people have pain with braces, but his is, he doesn't recognize it until it's really, really bad. It also gives you information like, oh, if my child's complaining about this, I have to pay attention because it must be really bad. So just thinking about those things is really good for the tactile.

Leah: 6:06

Adrian, I just want to jump in because as you're saying, you know, they may be irritable, right? That emotional response may come. And then that's gonna impact our relationship with them. If we think they're just walking around irritable, that's gonna get us more irritable. And then it's going to start arguments, right? It's gonna start, you know, decreasing our cohesiveness in the home if everyone's on edge because so and so is irritable. But doing that body scan, you know, not only with kids, but having moms do it. I do that with my clients, right? Learning just to take two seconds, go from head to toe what's going on in your body, because you may need to attend to something to help you feel more regulated.

Adrienne: 6:38

Yeah, so quick, even asking your kid too, hey, are you noticing any pain? Is anything going on? Just getting them used to checking in with themselves is so good. And especially for moms. Oh yeah. I mean, it's so easy to ignore those things and we're just busy, busy, busy not thinking about it. So that is a really good point. Okay, so now we're gonna move to auditory, which is your sound sense. So what it is is processing sound through ears and auditory pathways. So the over-responsive sense is that you will see kids covering their ears in normal environments. They can't concentrate when others are talking, so they can't focus on the one voice. Hand dryers and vacuums are terrifying. That's a really big one when kids go into the bathrooms and they freak out about the hand dryers or even the flushing toilets. That's another one. Also, background noise others don't notice can be overwhelming to them. So stuff that might be sort of soft in the background can really be overwhelming in their ears. So that's kids. Moms, multiple kids talking at once feels physically painful. And I 100% resonate with that when I have three kids. So it's a lot. You can't think when there's background music and you need silence to recover. So when you think about any of these symptoms or any of these challenges you might be experiencing or your kids might be experiencing, it's really, really valid to have these almost be painful, physically painful. So it's overwhelming. It makes it really difficult to concentrate on anything but what's happening in your ears. And so you're gonna have lots of irritation. I blow up sometimes when I have background music that's bothering me and I don't realize that it's there. And all of a sudden I can't hear what people are saying, and it's just I get really, really irritable. So again, it's leading into this emotional breakdown, this emotional meltdown, not just for moms, but also for kids. Like you'll see kids definitely run away from hand dryers, run away from toilet flushing. I mean, there could be even phobias of them because it's so sensitive to their ears, anxiety around it, avoidance, right? Lots of avoidance of some of some of these noises. And so these can be really important to address as a parent. You can't go into the bathroom and target because your kid's gonna freak out. That's gonna be a big problem for you. But just recognizing that this is not something they're doing on purpose. It's something they literally feel in their nervous system and it's making them very, very emotional, very irritable, and maybe even afraid. So we have to really recognize these are real situations. So under-responsive sound sensory is not responding when called, seeking loud music or noises and talking loudly. So there are some people that just have a louder voice. And sometimes you're like, how is that a thing? Like, are they not hearing themselves? Well, they have the under-responsive auditory system. So it's a really, again, a real thing. I actually worked with a client, a hypnosis client on this. She says people just keep telling her that she's loud and she doesn't hear it. And um, the not responding when called, that could be where they're very insular, they're in their mind, they're not paying attention, and they may hear it, but not actually listen, not actually be able to listen to it because they're just not, they don't have that sensitive sound system. All right, let's move on to visual. So that's seeing sight. So it's processing light, movement, colors, and patterns through eyes. Over-responsive visual is kids that are bothered by bright lights, fluorescent lighting that causes headaches, busy patterns, so visual patterns that are busy are overwhelming. Too much visual clutter creating anxiety. Okay, so that can actually be applied to moms too. So moms also getting overstimulated by cluttered spaces. Difficulty in visually busy stores, bright screens feel assaulting. So for me, I put Walmart is the worst because you go in and the fluorescence are just awful. And there isn't a lot of organization, like visual organization. It's kind of all over the place. I actually used to work at Ross Dress for Less. I don't know if anyone's ever heard of that store. Oh yeah. But I could not handle it because there was no organization. And people would try clothes on and throw them all over the store. And no, there wasn't enough people working there to actually organize the clothes. It was just everywhere, and it was just incredibly overwhelming. So a lot of shopping, any of those kinds of stores, like shopping really is hard, it's really hard for me. I hate it because of the lights, the sounds, the many decisions you have to make, the clutter, the just the visual overstimulation is really hard for me.

Leah: 9:43

Yeah, along with shopping, I can't do the mall, especially the King of Prussia mall. It's huge, it's bright, there's so much going on because I'm trying to take in all the information and it's just way too much. So as soon as I walk in there, I'm already activated. So I usually come out of the mall, even with my family, pretty irritated every single time.

Adrienne: 10:01

I was just gonna say that. Like, I can manage to be in there. I've gotten kind of used to calming myself, but it it drains me so badly. I get out of there, I'm exhausted, I'm irritated. It's exhausting to have to manage that. And I feel like there's so many people that are like, love shopping and love malls. And I'm just like, what's wrong with me that I don't like this? But we're not alone. Clearly, we're not alone. My daughter loves the King of Pressure Mall. It's her happy place. And I'm like, I don't understand you.

Leah: 10:22

Nope, nope.

Adrienne: 10:23

And the older I get, the less I want to be there. 100%. So definitely a challenge. So under responsive visual is seeking out bright colors, loving screens and staring at lights or spinning objects. I have not experienced this in my life or my children, but have you, Leah? No. No, no. I would say this is probably a little bit more rare. So, yeah, so the olefactory or smell sense that is detecting and processing orders through nasal receptors. So over-responsive smell is gagging at food smells, others don't notice, refusing to enter bathrooms or certain rooms because of smell, overwhelmed by perfumes or cleaning products. My daughter, this is an example. She can't be in the room while someone eats yogurt. Like she can't even like just be near the yogurt. It's like if someone else is eating the yogurt, she has to leave. She can't be in the room. I know that for me, perfumes is a huge trigger. Huge. Oh, yes. Definitely struggle with people that wear a lot of perfume and have to kind of be away from them. And I mean, to be honest, like it's kind of a good thing in a way. I can tell immediately when something's bad, like if food is bad or a meal went bad, I can tell a second flat where my husband's kind of like, I don't know, you smell it. I don't know, you know? Or you can smell gas, right? Like if you've left the pilot went on or something in the stove and there's no fire, you can smell the gas. And so that's also really helpful. So there's kind of getting into this idea that there might be some benefits to some of these sensitivities, some survival benefits if you think about primitive times when there were poisonous berries, and usually the sensitive people were able to discern the poisonous berries versus the non-poisonous berries. They were able to detect the little rustling in the leaves, the different colors, the different lights, maybe even be able to smell something that was like a warning don't eat that or don't go near that. So a lot of these responses have evolved through some of those benefits, right? We've survived this long as sensitive people because we've needed these to actually live and outlive some of the scary things that might actually kill you in primitive times. So then you have your over-responsive sensitivities to smell, nausea from cooking smells for moms, strong reactions to kids' diaper, bathroom smells, difficulty in scented stores. Also, I struggle with bad breath. I can smell it really far, right? And I can't stop like thinking about it. So have you had any experience with any of these or your kids?

Leah: 12:03

Oh, I do. I do. It's kind of a joke that my even my husband says that I have an overactive smell, but I was also able to detect many years ago when we moved in the house a sewer pipe that wasn't exactly attached underneath the house. I was able to smell it and then bringing people in and get it fixed. I was the only one that was able to detect it. So, like you said, I think, you know, some sensitivities are evolution's way of keeping us alive and with the surviving and evolving sensitivities, they're not negative. They really help us go through life. And it's that awareness and working with it that's really gonna help us thrive. Yes.

Adrienne: 12:36

I love that. That was so interesting that you smell that. Very useful.

unknown: 12:38

Yeah.

Leah: 12:38

It was useful.

Adrienne: 12:39

It sucked, but it was useful. My mom, she comes into my house and goes, What's burning all the time? It's because she thinks she smells, usually it's cooking. So sometimes we'll be like, Mom is not burning, it's cooking. But she can tell when something's on the verge of burning, and so can I. And she can she can remove it from the oven or turn it off, just have that sense like this is not gonna be a good situation if I don't pay attention to it. Whereas some other people might not smell it and then accidentally burn food. So another benefit.

Leah: 12:59

Exactly. Yeah, you last night I swear I smelled the that the candle was still burning, but I thought I blew it out. I did, I blew it out, but I could still smell like the burning candle. I don't know if that's helpful because nothing was actually burning, but it kind of like gets stuck in there and you continue to smell it, which is the worst. And I get like that, you know, if someone walks by me wearing too much perfume, I almost have a physical reaction of, oh God, that was too strong. Why did they do that?

Adrienne: 13:19

Yeah, I kind of can't use candles or any of that in my house. I have a very, very mild perfume that I use, and that's it. And it's just, it's too much. I just can't, especially like Bath and Body Works, Bath and Body Works, that store kills me. And going through the perfume aisle in like Macy's or a department store, oh, yeah. I get sick, like nauseous, my head starts to hurt. But I agree, like I think like even like your candle might have been lit. So it's good to really just have that check and just to make sure you're gonna be able to protect people and yourself from anything bad happening. So there is an under-responsive smell, olfactory sense, which kind of surprises me, but you don't notice strong odors and you seek out strong scents. So I don't think I've encountered that particularly. Have you?

Leah: 13:50

I don't think so. I don't I don't remember ever working with anyone talking about that.

Adrienne: 13:54

No, I would say that was probably another rare one too, because if you don't notice strong odors, it's probably like not a huge thing, but having really sensitive olfactory system probably is a bigger deal, makes makes things harder. Okay, so we're moving on to the gustatory, which is your taste sense. And so it's taste receptors on tongue detecting flavors. This is a really important one for kids because an over-responsive taste sense makes for picky eating. So I'm sure a lot of moms out there are noticing that they have a picky eater. And it can be really, really, really challenging and really frustrating because pretty much as moms, all we want to do is make sure our kids eat just survival-wise, basic instinct, get your kids to eat food. Then they start refusing all these foods, only eating bland foods, not eating vegetables, not eating fruits. Maybe they gag with certain food or avoid certain foods. So all of these things are actually a gustatory, over-responsive sense. So it's pretty common in sensitive kids. And one of the things that I can usually tell, one of the ways I can tell if a parent has a sensitive child is because they're picky or particular. So they usually like certain things and they tend to not go outside of that for a while, you know, until they're maybe older. Or maybe they gag with certain foods. That's a really common symptom of being highly sensitive. Also, moms also have picky eating challenges, difficulty eating certain textures or flavor, or very particular about food preparation. That's me. I need to eat food when it's hot, if it's supposed to be hot, or coffee or some hot drink has to be very hot, almost like right below scalding. Otherwise, I have to heat it up.

Leah: 14:59

Wow.

Adrienne: 14:59

In the summer, I can't drink hot coffee. I can't drink hot drinks at all. And in the winter, I can't drink iced drinks. And there's a time in the fall where I finally switch. And sometimes if I drink hot too early, my body's like, nope. And it actually tastes bad to me. Like the coffee is just gross. And I have to switch back to ice for a little while and then try it again later. So it's a very weird little quake, you know, quirk, but it kind of goes in line with this sensitivity, I'm imagining. Yeah, yeah.

Leah: 15:18

But you're aware of it. So you just have to modify as your body's adjusting to the season. Yeah.

Adrienne: 15:24

And I was remembering that my dad, actually, when I was growing up, would always be like microwaving his coffee, like constantly heating it up, constantly like drinking a little bit, get cold, heat it up again, drink a little bit. I mean, forget that it was there, but he would, you know, have to reheat it many, many, many times. So he probably had the same, the same situation as me with wanting the hot liquid to be hot. Yeah. And then the under-responsive gustatory sense is someone that seeks very spicy or strong flavors or even mouths non-food items. I don't know if this is pika. I think that's more of a where they eat non-food items as part of like pregnancy or, you know. So I think this is more of like a regular situation where, and I'm guessing this is not toddler-based because toddlers all try to mouth non-food items, but as they get older, figuring out are these things actually going to have a taste or anything? Can I get a taste out of this or maybe the texture feels good? But very spicy or strong. This is also, have you ever heard of non-taster versus super tasters versus tasters? Have you ever heard that? No, I haven't. So I found I found this some somewhere, I can't even remember, a long time ago, that like super tasters are like someone like me who's very picky, but like I eat everything now, but still very sensitive to textures. Again, have my hot and cold situation going on. And then you have a taster, which is just a normal middle of the road kind of person. They can eat many things. They don't really like super spicy foods, they're not really super particular. And then they have the non-taster, which is someone that has very little taste buds, like very just super non-sensitive taste buds where they can't detect a lot of flavor. So those are the people that always put hot sauce on everything or tons of salt and they can't taste it. So those are like the non-tasters. So I'm imagining that would be an underresponsive gestatory dense. And like I was saying, picky eating, super common symptom of high sensitivity. And we're gonna do a whole podcast on picky eating at some point to help you manage it a little bit more easily. Well, actually, one of my kids is really picky. I was I was a picky eater and I also coach many clients that have picky eaters. So we'll go into that a little bit more. Do you have any examples of this?

Leah: 16:49

The taste sensitivity? Definitely the picky eating. You know, my kids have gone through, one of them is still going through a picky eating stage. I don't know if it's about flavor. I mean, I would say some of it is, but there's even points where one of my kids will look at something and say, I'm not putting that in my mouth just because they're afraid of it tasting bad, not liking it, and then needing to spit it out. I definitely don't have any sensitivity to foods. I would say when I was younger, I liked spicy food, but now as I get older, I do not. So that's a shift. But I do know picky eating, so we're definitely gonna do that podcast, is a huge concern of many parents because they want their kids to eat a wide variety of food and get introduced to it and have a healthy diet. And the kids are like, nope, I'm gonna stick with this. And it might be all bland, like the white diet of chicken nuggets, french fries, mac and cheese, and that's all that they'll eat. And I do know and have hope for a lot of people. I've known a lot of picky eaters and I've known how they eat now. And they can, like you did, open up their variety and be able to explore. But for kids, it's very common, but very, very upsetting to many moms that I work with.

Adrienne: 17:43

Right. And it can cause a lot of contention in the house. Do you make another meal for them? Do you allow them to eat it? Do they not? So basically, we're gonna go over a little more of what that looks like and how to handle that in another episode because it is a little bit longer and more involved. So the next sense, which is we're now moving on to your internal senses. The other five that we just talked about are external. So this first internal sense is vestibular, which is balance and movement. So this is the inner ear system detecting head position, movement, and balance. So an over-responsive vestibular system is kids that are have a fear of playground equipment. They get anxious when they have their feet off the ground, maybe they get car sick, they don't like being upside down, and they're really cautious on stairs. So this one is really key to make sure that your kid actually develops a healthy vestibular system by doing some of these movements. A lot of people now are trying to keep their kids too safe in the playground. And in reality, they need to go upside down. They need to be spinning, they need to be doing these things because it develops a healthy vestibular system. And there are kids that naturally have more of a lack of balance and maybe have more of that car sickness or nausea, that kind of stuff. And that's that's okay, but they still need to practice doing all of these things, swinging, going upside down. Like playground equipment is perfect for developing a healthy vestibular system. My middle son is really car sick and does not like any sort of roller coaster. He's been like that forever. And he's just not a super gross motor kid. He's not really athletic, he doesn't like to do a lot of physical activity. So I think part of it is that he has an over-responsive vestibular system, but he does a lot of going upside down. He used to like read upside down on the couch. So I think his body is trying to balance that and make, you know, get some responsiveness out of that system. Also, for moms, same thing. Motion sickness, anxiety during quick movements, or disoriented by certain movements. So if you have somebody maybe in your peripheral moving quickly, maybe you get confused by it or you're just not sure what's happening around you, get motion sickness in boats or cars. This is my mom. She used to be startled so easily by anything. And I think that kind of goes along with this. Also, so it's more, more about the so under-responsive/slash seeking vestibular balance is someone that's constantly moving or a kid that's always spinning, needs to swing all the time, or rock. They never get dizzy and they're always in motion. And I'm sure we all know kids like this. This is more of like a hyperactive kind of kid that's just constantly moving, can't sit still, just getting that seeking responsive, seeking the vestibular system to respond. The swinging, especially, is a is a really important way to actually work with an over-responsive vestibular system. So if your kid needs to swing, you can really use that to help calm them and to rock them, right? So using some of these movements that they do naturally is going to help them regulate their nervous system even more easily. So we don't want to push against some of the things that they're naturally doing because it's information about what they need.

Leah: 19:53

Right. For the swinging, because these days you can get those swings in your homes, the the fabric sensory swings. They really, really, really work. Um, I know even now as an adult, I would love to sit on a swing or sit in a rocking chair and I am immediately calm. It really, really works for kids or adult.

Adrienne: 20:08

My son had a, my middle son, who is, I would say, the over-responsive. He, we, we got him a sensory swing and it was a combination of pressure. So that outside pressure, which he needed, and also the swinging motion, he would be in there for like an hour before bed. He loved it. And I usually do recommend the swing, especially for kids that are, again, in the constantly moving situation, like get them on a swing, get them on a even a trampoline or some something that helps them to like move in motion. The next sense is proprioception, which is body position and awareness. So receptors and muscles in and joints telling us where our body is in space is what proprioception is. So over-responsive proprioception, which is not super common, is uncomfortable with deep pressure and dislikes tight hugs. So actually, this is my youngest. My daughter comes over and hugs him and he screams, You're hurting me, right? It's definitely like I think it is less common, but he has, I don't think it's super extreme for him, but it's totally possible. Under responsive and seeking for proprioception is kids that crash into things, rough play, chewing on everything, loving tight hugs and weighted blankets and stomps when walking. Does anyone ever have a kid that like walks really hard? Yes. You're like, why are they so loud? That's what they're doing. They're seeking the feedback for the proprioception. And so the weighted blankets has become kind of a thing now. A lot of people know about them. There's also weighted stuffed animals. Also the crashing into things. That definitely is something that you'll notice. That maybe they're running into the cushions of the couch is a big one, or they're running into the walls, or they're crashing into people. That can be so difficult to manage. But if you know it's coming from that need for them to get the feedback for their proprioception, you can start doing things like I'm going to talk about right now to actually counteract that sort of spontaneous need to do it and make it more intentional and plan it into your day. Okay, so my kid definitely needs this feedback. How do I give it to him every single day or her? And so this is what I wanted to talk about as the secret weapon for regulating all of the senses, which is really cool if you think about it. It's almost like if you have, let's say, sensitive sight, sensitive taste, your vestibular system is a little off and you're off of balance and you're feeling motion sick. Well, guess what? You can use proprioception to cover all of it and calm all of the senses at once. So it has unique neurological properties. And the way that like an occupational therapist would describe it is that it's organizing to the nervous system. So if you have a kid that's like jumping around before bed and you're like, oh my God, this kid needs to calm down so they can go to sleep, in order to help them calm down, you may need to do more physical activity to organize their nervous system, which is kind of counterintuitive. Basically, what it does is it helps provide your brain information about where your body is in space and helps your nervous system feel safe and grounded. So if you're overwhelmed by other stimuli, then just doing some of these exercises can literally calm down your nervous system. It's like an override button. So really cool. So you can't really be also the reason this works so well is you can't be over-responsive to it. So most of the time, people are seeking more proprioception, right? They're seeking more feedback for proprioception. And so it's safe to just use with almost everyone. So you can use it with any kid. One of the big things that is an occupational therapy tool, and maybe you've heard the term, is heavy work. So heavy work releases calming neurochemicals and it engages proprioception. So you're gonna be pushing, pulling, carrying heavy things, climbing. It requires muscle and joint engagement. So that way of maybe even pushing a laundry basket around with something in it or vacuuming or things like that, carrying a heavy load, all of those things are gonna actually release those neurochemicals and calm your nervous system down, which is so cool because it makes sense a lot. This is what we did as humans for a long time, heavy labor, right? And so this type of work regulates arousal levels, calming when overwhelmed, and alerting when sluggish. So it does both things. It gives you energy and it actually calms you down. And it can reduce cortisol, which is the stress hormone, and increase feel-good neurotransmitters. So it's really very magical if you think about it. Leah, you did mention that your son kind of falls into this category of needing some of this heavy work. So what does he do?

Leah: 23:08

So ever since he was really little, you know, before he was two years old, and I was just responding to him wanting me to throw stuffed animals at him. He was on the bed, he was safe, but I was just nailing these stuffed animals at him because he liked that feedback, he liked that pressure. And ever since then, you know, going to the beach, he's in the water the entire time because of the waves crashing down on him. And we've had him in different workout classes, CrossFit, using his body in a way to work out. And ever since he was been seven, he's been working out, going to the gym right now, four or five times a week. And he will literally say, I need to go to the gym. And then I know I gotta get him to the gym. You know, sometimes I can't, but if I can, I need to make it a priority because he's telling me what he needs. And now he's old enough to do that. But this started even when he was so, so little and always understanding this is what I need. So it's always the heavy work. It's jumping on a trampoline because it gives him that impact. Putting him into water was very effective in calming him down. Yeah. And he'll come out a whole new person. But now, you know, he's old enough to say, I need to go to the gym or I'm taking a bath or I'm taking a shower to regulate himself. And it works. So I've always told clients, my family, the heavy work is really, really key in helping kids really calm their bodies because it works almost 100% of the time. Yeah, exactly.

Adrienne: 24:17

Like it works for pretty much every kid. And the way that you're saying is that he does this heavy work because his nervous system needs the regulation and then he feels calmer, his stress looks goes down, he's more focused, he's able to move on. And so that's definitely something that if he's self-aware and he can he knows those things, he can plan those into his day. He can be intentional about creating those situations where he's doing those things. And that's kind of what I suggest to parents is that if you have a kid that just maybe has a lot of those physical movements and is constantly in motion or crashing against things all the time, especially plan this stuff in. Plan it before bedtime. Literally say to yourself, I'm gonna have a pillow fight with my kid. I'm gonna, you know, play wrestle with them before bed. And it sounds, it feels counterintuitive. You feel like you're riling your child up. But in reality, you're calming them down. I had a client who her daughter was just constantly dancing while they were trying to get ready for bed, wouldn't brush her teeth, wouldn't cut her pajamas on, and was even like running into her room and saying she's, you know, there's scary things there, and she was freaking out. And it was so frustrating. She was just done trying to get this kid to go to bed. And I said, Well, clearly she's dancing because she needs some sort of regulation and she's showing you what she needs. So how about we just use it? We'll put it, we'll plan it into your bedtime routine. You brush your teeth, five minutes of dance. Then maybe you get your PJs on, five more minutes of dance, and you do it too. Put some music on, make it really intentional. And she said she could not believe how regulated she was and how much calmer she was, so much so that she went to bed without having fears of something being in her room. So it even calmed down that hyperactive imagination. I definitely recommend looking into doing any of these things. I mean, my husband's really good at kind of engaging them in some of this play automatically. And so it can be really hard and counterintuitive, like I said, but it actually works to calm them down. And so leaning into some of these activities can be really helpful in a lot of situations. And because we have a lot of kind of sedentary lifestyle, even kids, we have to really be intentional about creating movement opportunities and we do it for ourselves too as moms. We have to be really intentional about it so that we can take care of our bodies and lower our stress level. But even for kids, we want to make sure that they have planned either play or something really specific where they're not just doing a sport, which is great and helpful, but maybe they also need to add some of this other stuff in. My youngest, even if he does a full soccer practice, will still be hyperactive at bedtime. Like nothing will ever really calm him unless we do some of these activities right before bed. And so we just have to know that that's what we have to plan for. And a lot of times he wants to throw a stuffy, like a football, and that's it. A lot of other times he likes to like jump on the bed and roll, and then we can like wrestle a little bit, but really follow what your kid is doing and feed off of that and just use that as a way to guide you as to what they might need.

Leah: 26:18

Yeah. And I also want to point out when you're doing it with them, that offers connection. And bedtime is also a period of separation that we don't always put into a category like that. That's a really good point. But that connection along with this work can be really powerful to regulate your nervous system and their nervous system. And then they're gonna fall asleep faster. As with most of my clients, I recommend the dance parties before bed because you're gonna be calm also. They're gonna get their movement needs managed and you're doing it with them. So it's offering the oxytocin, the endorphins, and that connection piece.

Adrienne: 26:43

And yes, I definitely agree with you. Kids are seeking connection out before bed even more than every other time in the day, which is like really hard.

Leah: 26:49

Why?

Adrienne: 26:50

You're like, why now? I really just want to go to sleep. But that is one of the reasons why I try to get up to bed or at least get upstairs to get ready about a half an hour earlier than I am ready to go to, you know, to get into bed, or even longer, sometimes an hour before, because I know we're gonna have to go through this back and forth of making sure they feel connected, getting them to do heavy work, maybe moving around a little bit, maybe even just talking, right? A lot of kids like to like decompress by talking. The bedtime is like the last thing parents wanna do, and I get it. But if you can get upstairs just a little earlier when you're a little bit more awake and have a tiny bit more energy, it's gonna be a lot easier to get your kid to bed. Just plan it in, is what I'm trying to say. Just make it part of the routine and you're gonna be a lot happier. Okay, so one of the things that you can do, let's say your child's having a meltdown because maybe things are too loud for them or they're overwhelmed by some sensory issue, you're gonna offer a tight hug that can calm them down, let them push against a wall, or carry heavy books. Those things can reset their system. And again, we talked about a weighted blanket that provides constant proprioceptive input. And for a mom that's overstimulated and needs some input in the same way, heavy exercise, lifting, pushing a stroller, gardening, using a weighted blanket also, and even needing bread or carrying groceries is really helpful. So as you can see, these are a little bit different than like a cardio situation. Although cardio is important too, this kind of gives you a different sort of input. And so think about are you doing these things? Are you sort of pushing yourself a little bit to do something more than just take a walk, which is great and fine. Maybe you don't need it as much, maybe you need it every other day. But if you're constantly overstimulated, you're gonna want to plan this in. Even just doing a weight workout, like you were saying, like your son does, is really good. Why do occupational therapists use it all the time? It's because in their practice, they see how important it is, right? They see how it works. Having kids crash into mats, push weighted carts, climb. Climbing is a really good one that I think a lot of people discount. And it's because it seems dangerous. And you need to think about what you're trading for some of that, protective, those feelings of needing to be protective. How can you have them climb but have them be safe? My kids love climbing trees, like absolutely love it. So, you know, people can tolerate different amounts of that, but what can you tolerate? What can you let your kid do? It actually helps them regulate their nervous system. So if they naturally do it, I would as much as possible encourage figure out a way to encourage it in a way that feels good to you. Hanging from bars, okay, again, another playground situation. My daughter, when she was nine months old, she is so strong. She could hang from a bar for like five straight minutes. It was insane.

Leah: 28:43

Oh my.

Adrienne: 28:44

Yeah. So like you know that she has that kind of need, right? It's like natural to her. And now she does ice skating where she flips up and you know, jumps and flips and turns and she loves it. It feels good to her. So a lot of times when they're really little, they're gonna show you what they need, like I said. So we're gonna have more of a regulated nervous system in the OT office, at home, anywhere. So the science behind why it works is that the proprioceptive system sends signals through specific pathways that have a modulating effect on the entire nervous system. It's like turning down your volume on all overwhelming inputs. And so when you're tactile, defensive, defensive is when you have over, overly sensitive, auditory sensitive or visually overwhelmed at all at once, you can't just take away all of those triggers. You can't just take away all of the sound, all of the visual stimulation, but you can add propriooceptive input. And that helps your body handle those sensations later. So basically, it's just it's helping you process some of those overwhelming triggers that maybe you don't have any way of getting rid of. And the reason why nobody knows about this is because we only know about the five senses. So you're missing the eight senses. And once you understand the extra three and you use the proprioception as a way to sort of turn down some of the sensitivities to other things, you're gonna have ease in working with your child and helping them to change some of their behaviors and understand them better. So the last sense is interoception, which is internal body signals. So this is sensing internal body states, hunger first, your need to use the bathroom, heart rates, and emotions in the body. So an over responsive interoception system is kids that are very aware of their heartbeat or breathing. Anxiety about body sensations. So anxiety if they're hungry, they're worried, right? They're freaking out that they're not gonna get food, or maybe anxiety that they have to go bathroom and there's no bathroom. Feeling every stomach gurgle. So like they're noticing every little tiny thing that's going on with them, especially emotions. They're pop, they're gonna feel emotions very deeply, especially shame. That's gonna feel really painful to for them. They might have a big response by crying, uh, maybe running away. Any sort of emotional sensitivity is going to feel physical to them. For moms, they're hyperaware of physical discomfort and anxiety manifests as intense body awareness. So when they have anxiety symptoms, it's gonna be very physical. You're gonna have the racing heart, the shaking, any sort of like panic symptoms are gonna be very physical. So dizziness, those kinds of things. And also, I have hypointerousception. And if I'm hungry, I can't focus on anything. Literally, like it's just all I think about. If I'm tired, I can't push through it. I have to go take a nap. And every single emotion that I feel, I have to think about and process. And a lot of people can just glide through that and just not even make a thing of it. It can just be part of their day and they keep moving and it's fine. That is not me. So when I figured out that that was what was going on for me, is that I was just so in tune to my internal body states, I could then feel like I was less crazy and I could feel like, okay, maybe it's important that I do pay attention to those things and not just push through all of it. So that was something that was big for me. The underresponsive interoception is you don't notice hunger, thirst, or bathroom needs until they're urgent and you have a difficulty identifying emotions in your body. So this is my middle child. He doesn't know when he's hungry. He will go for hours without eating and then all of a sudden start to freak out or get angry or get really irritated. And I'm like, have you eaten anything? So what you need to do though is to make sure that you have regular times where they eat, or you make sure that they have regular bathroom times. Like he used to run to the bathroom at the very last second because he just wasn't paying attention. It's gotten better as he's gotten older, but he doesn't drink water. It's just not something he consciously thinks about or feels. And the thing about the identifying emotions in his body, that's not true. So I'm like very, it's very interesting to me. I think he's just emotionally sensitive, but he doesn't know why he's feeling what he's feeling. So it's there, but it's not, he's not like conscious of why he's feeling that way. And so what makes problems for these kinds of kids is that they're not aware that they need something or they need food or they need to go to the bathroom before it hits a crisis. So then they're very upset or they're very angry, they're very irritable, or they're having accidents. So think about this: like, where is your child on this scale? Are they in the normal, the normal arrange? Are they really sensitive to it? Are they not noticing things? Because all of those can can cause challenges either way. The thing about these senses, these eight senses, is that all of the sensory experiences that highly sensitive people have are so intense. So it's not like you're choosing to feel this way or to be sensitive to senses, smells, and tastes and all of that. It's that they literally feel it so intensely that it can't be ignored. And you can be over-responsive in some systems and under-responsive in others. It doesn't have to be one or the other across the board. And most sensitive kids are over-responsive, but remember, if we just do proprioceptive input, that can calm your child down pretty quickly. And when you know what's happening underneath some of the challenges your kids are having and you know which senses are affected, then you can target solutions to help them resolve it or at least to help them be self-aware of it, to get ahead of it and to prevent what's gonna happen in the future. So if you know your kid doesn't know when they're hungry, you're gonna need to plan out those meals. Um, so my goal in coaching my clients when I talk about parenting is always prevention. This is just another way you can be proactive so you don't end up in a meltdown every single time something like this comes up. So now that we understand the eight senses, you know, we gave you lots of examples, but like let's just talk about the morning routine. Let's just imagine like a five-year-old because when you're younger, it's more sensitive. They're gonna have more of a reaction to some of these senses. So let's say you have a tag in your clothes or your five-year-old has some seams in their socks they don't like, or the fabric texture is just not working for them. And this is all the morning, they're all putting their clothes on. Maybe they don't like to stand on one foot and can they put on their pants? That's the vestibular sense. They have anxiety about it, or maybe your the their parents' voice sounds too loud and the kid's already overwhelmed. So that's their auditory sense. And then there's some bright bathroom lights that you're turning on. So that's the visual sense. And then all of a sudden they're hungry and they don't know they're hungry, and then they're melting down. It can become a whole overwhelm situation with multiple senses at once, just getting completely overwhelmed in that in that sense. So thinking about the morning routine, it's fast, it's a lot of things they're doing at once, and there's a lot of senses involved. So maybe piecing those out, figuring out what's going on for your kid, what's upsetting them, what's overwhelming them, that can be really helpful. If you think about children in real scenarios like going to a restaurant, oh my gosh, I always don't know if I could take my kids like under the age of three to a restaurant. It was too much for me and too much for them. But if you think about restaurants in general, even even now for me as a mom, smell, sound, visual chaos, food textures, I mean, they can be so loud. And then I think a lot of sensitive kids really struggle in school for the same reasons. It's just too overstimulating. And I know that my my sensitive kids, they hate the lights, the fluorescent lights in school. Sometimes like the middle school smells really bad. You got puberty, different smells, food smells. Yeah, see, can you can you smell your middle school now that we talk about? Yeah, yeah. Um yeah. So then you're gonna have a lot of senses just being overwhelmed all at once at school. Crowds, busy environments, all those kinds of things, going to like a concert, going to a you know, shopping mall, anything cause overload in your kids' systems. So if you take them to the mall and you put them in a clothing store, they might melt down just because there's too much going on for them and it's just their system being overloaded.

Leah: 34:20

Yeah, they're gonna start to kick into fight or flight, right? For survival. And they may start getting irritable and give you attitude because they just want to get out, or they're going to look for the exit and just say, I'll meet you there, right? Because they're either gonna fight or they're gonna run away because it's just too much.

Adrienne: 34:35

Yeah, and you're trying to get your kids' pants or buy them shoes and they're running out the door and you're like, what is happening? I'm just trying to get you some shoes, but it's definitely more going on. And like I said, the younger, the more difficult it's gonna be. As they get older, some of the maturity can decrease some of the sensitivity, but just know that it's not you, it's not them, it's just their system. And you're gonna be able to figure it out and you're gonna be able to work with it. And also, you know, the downtime versus the active time also does create more of a calming system, depending on how much you balance those two things. So we always wanted to think about that too. So in moms, what does it look like? Well, you're gonna be touched out while dealing with noise all at once, right? So maybe you got a kid on top of you and he's yelling in your ear. Or, you know, the cumulative effect of managing multiple sensory inputs, like all day, maybe you've been at work and the lights are really bright and you've had a couple meetings and people are talking really loud and the stress is just kind of accumulating throughout the day. You're gonna have a lot of trouble when you get home having more sensory input, like a kid being on top of you or somebody asking you questions immediately. Also, there's a lot of physical exhaustion from sensory overload, right? We talked about them all. Like my energy is completely zapped after that. Sometimes your energy can be zapped zapped from working. I know Leah, you're a therapist and I work with one of the clients one-on-one. That can be exhausting too, just in the sense of focusing so deeply on what they're saying, maybe even like managing your emotions while you're doing it. All of that can be very, very tiring. So then there needs to be a more calm, quiet place for you to kind of decompress after some of that. And that doesn't always happen. Maybe you don't have a far commute, you come home, kids are right there asking you to make them food, talking to you, or yelling. My kids, I mean, they love to get their energy out by running around the house and screaming. That's just like what they do. Oh, and I'm always like very glad that they're doing it, but it drives me crazy. My ears are, they hurt. Like I literally feel like my eardrums hurt sometimes. And so I'm like, I'm gonna go upstairs, see you in a bit. Or I tell them to go outside.

Leah: 36:01

Yeah, yeah. And that's when I tell all my moms to get like the loop earphones or noise-cancellating headphones because you can still hear. So if there's an emergency, you can hear what's going on. But overall, you can dull the amount of noise going into your system. And it's okay to use them. You know, when I have the moms say that they use them, they're go, oh yeah, this is just dropped down, you know, my anxiety from like a nine to a five. I was like, and any assistance with your nervous system is going to help because I have so many moms be like, I held it together all day. And then at bedtime I finally lashed out. Yep, that's normal. Yeah. Right? Yeah because you're done.

Adrienne: 36:35

You're overstimulated, you couldn't handle it anymore. That may happen. And I think a lot of the things we're talking about, I'm hoping that people can use throughout the day just to become aware of when they are overstimulated to maybe process through some of that or do something that helps them to calm their nervous system, like some of the self-care things we talked about or some of the things we talked about here. And notice that, okay, bedtime is gonna be very difficult because I'm already tired. So how can I make it easier on myself, if possible? Right? Little little kids, different story. But if you are able to have a just make anything intentional with your older kids, I think it's always a possibility is there to have a calmer time at night. Yeah. And so when it comes to like daily life, there's gonna be many battles if you're really struggling with your kids' sensitive physical issues. Like, let's say they don't like the way clothes feel. Well, it might take 45 minutes and they get dressed in the morning. That's so frustrating. That's really hard. But if you understand, oh, my kids are really struggling with these genes because they don't feel good in their body, or they don't like you're gonna have some challenges possibly with that, with the tactile sensations. Also, maybe the breakfast is not what they wanted and they're picky and they freak out about the breakfast. Doesn't they want what you offer? You gotta make something else. Maybe they have the vestibular challenges where when they walk downstairs, they don't like to go on one foot. So that can be a little scary for them, or maybe just there's a whole bunch of things triggering at once. Maybe things are very loud in the house, or they're stressed out about school in general, and then all the physical challenges on top of it just add to make more of a meltdown situation. And then in school, you got the cafeterias, you have the gym, you have playgrounds, right? So all of those situations are gonna probably have some sort of physical challenge to them. Maybe they're labeled as being picky or particular and they take that to heart and it's really, really not fun. And then maybe they're missing on activities that they want to do but can't tolerate. Like maybe they do want to play on the playground, but they feel really scared of going up those stairs or going upside down. Maybe they really are nervous about swimming on the swings, you know? Maybe they're nervous about falling.

Leah: 38:06

Yeah. I I think what I'm hearing and you're putting out there that the kids don't want to be like this. They're not, again, I know we talked about earlier, but they don't want to be, they're not trying to be difficult. Right. These are things that they can't control. So as we become aware of it, we can really come from a place of empathy and trying to help them manage it because this is how they're going to be for the rest of their life, pretty much, right? Because we as moms and adults, we still have these sensitivities. We just hopefully have learned what they are and how to manage them. But the kids haven't. Yep. And it's, you know, bringing in that awareness and empathy to really help them now, which will help the whole family in essence.

Adrienne: 38:38

Yeah. I mean, the more you can be aware of their sensitivities and help them understand and help them define tools, the better things are gonna go for everyone. So definitely that's one of the reasons why we did this podcast. Make sure that you're aware of these can be real situations and the kid isn't just trying to be difficult. So for the mom, like you were talking about all day, you're just gonna be exhausted by the end of the day, just dealing with all the sensory challenges. But also there's decision fatigue because you're constantly trying to monitor yourself and you're all of your systems and trying to make sure that you're calm and making sure that you're making decisions. It can be very challenging to even just like those tiny little things all day, every day, trying to make those little decisions can be exhausting. And also, maybe you have decision fatigue from trying to figure out how to manage your kids' systems. What's okay, what's not? Am I going too far? Am I enabling them? Like, where is the line for how I can manage my kids' physical issues? And maybe you have guilt because you've just had limits with them and you've said no and you feel really bad about it. And in addition, you're highly sensitive, your kid's highly sensitive, you're just tired because it's it's an exhausting situation. And so that can be really hard if you have different issues, different sensitivities, physical sensitivities, than your kid has. There's some disconnect there because you don't understand them. You don't get why they're doing what they're doing. And we also want to remember that, like what Leah said, that they're not just being dramatic, they're not trying to be difficult. We want to make sure we don't dismiss their sensitivities. So the empathy is key and remembering that they're not doing this on purpose. We want to remember that our kids are maybe gonna feel these things differently. They're gonna experience these sensations differently and not discounting that what they experience is real and believing them. We want to believe them. When you do have a kid with physical sensitivity, you're gonna ask yourself, am I accommodating? Am I enabling? Am I putting limits where I should be putting them or am I overdoing it and making my child feel bad about their sensitivities? So it's a really difficult situation. And that's something I would recommend talking to someone about, getting some support. Where am I on that scale? Am I going too far to one side or too far to the other side? Or am I really just honoring what they're going through and actually creating solutions for it? Or am I just saying, well, this is too hard. I'm just gonna let them do whatever they want and then we'll figure it out later. I'm gonna add to the notes section some extra resources for people to use if they notice their child has a specific sensory challenge and they want some support. I'm gonna put it in the notes. And I just want to remind everyone that, you know, sensitivity isn't a flaw to be fixed, but just something to understand. The more we can understand each other, the better off we're going to be able to work together as a unit of a family. And we want to make small accommodations in the right sensory systems, and they're gonna make huge differences if we can just take really small steps in doing proactive, intentional tools to make sure that our kids are self-aware and are kind of set up for success is kind of the way I look at it. How can we set our kid up for success when they have these sensory challenges? And also make sure that you're not trying to solve everything at once. Just pick your most challenging moment in the day with your kid, start there. So maybe that's a good place for everyone that's listening to start. So identify which of these senses you're gonna start working on that's been the hardest for you to manage. And then pick one small thing maybe from the notes or from what we talked about today, maybe do some heavy work just to kind of give them a chance to calm down, maybe work on bedtime. And then remember that this is an ongoing process. So your kid is gonna evolve in their sensitivity, their physical sensitivity as they get older, they're gonna become self-aware, they're gonna change a little bit, they're not gonna be as sensitive to this, they're gonna be more sensitive to this. So it's just an ongoing process and it's not something you're gonna completely get rid of. It will be there their whole lives, but you can really help them, especially early on, to manage things and have much more success with managing themselves and understanding themselves. And that is the goal. Also, we're going to have a podcast where we talk to an occupational therapist about specific ways and steps that they can help your child if you feel like that is the next level for you, and also talk about when you should bring them to an occupational therapist and when you can manage it at home. So thanks so much for listening today and we hope to see you in two weeks.

Leah: 41:47

Thank you.