3. Motivating Your Child the Way They’re Wired: Using the 4 Temperaments

How many of us have struggled to motivate our kids to cooperate? Or just get stuff done?

In this episode of Real Parenting for the Sensitive Mom, Leah and Adrienne explore how understanding your child’s temperament can transform the way you motivate them. Drawing from Kathleen Edelman’s book A Grown-Up’s Guide to Your Kids’ Wiring, they break down the four temperaments—Sanguine, Choleric, Phlegmatic, and Melancholic—and how each one responds to different types of encouragement, expectations, and communication.

Parenting is 80% trying to get your kids to do things—and it’s hard. But when you understand how your child is wired, everything changes. Leah and Adrienne share personal stories, practical tips, and mindset shifts that help you stop pushing your wiring onto your kids and start parenting the child you actually have.

Key Takeaways

• Motivation becomes easier when you stop expecting your child to act like you.
• Each temperament thrives under different conditions—fun, control, connection, or clarity.
• Adjusting your language and expectations can unlock cooperation and confidence.
• Understanding your own temperament helps you navigate parent-child dynamics more gracefully.
• The best parenting happens when we honor who our kids truly are—not who we wish they were.

Resources Mentioned

• A Grown-Up’s Guide to Your Kids’ Wiring by Kathleen Edelman
• Temperament quiz for kids (available in the book)

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*DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes only. It is not to be used for therapeutic or medical advice.